Those moments..

You know this moments where you would like to take a wand and zap someone into your shoes and deal with your issues so they will shut up about theirs???

I wish people would accept anxiety as a disorder and that you have to work at it to ever make it. I can help. Ask me. Ask me if I know how your child or how someone you know,maybe even yourself feels and I will sympathetically look at you and understand almost 100%.

Wanted to do a update on my anxiety. Sunday I had a party to go to at my moms and my nerves were so high driving. I actually had a slight melt down. I also get angry with my anxiety and the night before I ended up slamming a dish on the floor...I know that sounds so immature but in my head that would make me feel better. The overwhelming feeling of not being in control of my nerves and thoughts were getting to me. I knew I had nothing to be afraid of or nervous about. I knew god would get me there and home but for days before the actual party; I was just a mess. I felt like I wasnt going to go. I felt like bailing. I wanted someone to drive me. Now for a mom who is with her kids about 23/6 of the time lol...I should have been ADULT TIMEEEEE!!! And part of me was. I was excited to drive alone and have my music as loud as I wanted. But that excitement never out did the nerves. My mom and Aunt actually looked at me after the party and asked if I was okay because I was starting to slightly subject myself and my body to horrible anxiety. I had a hot on fire face,a headache and my hands were shaking. They told me its time for me to leave and they gave me encouraging words as I did. Even in a blog no one will truly get that feeling. Or realize anxiety is NOT for wimps. You have to fight fight fight... 
I tried so hard on the way home to relax. I won. Somewhat. I looked at the setting sun..I drove at my pace...I didn't have sweaty palms! These are accomplishments! I told my self my dear sister would be traveling 45-50mins home to my 25-30mins home. 
Its nap time, I tend to clean like a maniac to keep my mind in a happy place. I like when the kids are up,feels like someone is here with me. I will be lost when they go to school but my house will be spotless from me cleaning constantly lol.  I am a clean a holic anyway. =)